it's all in my head

Jasmine | 19 | Kitty <3 | Sacramento | College | Air Force bound | Rant & Eat & Laugh

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sparkcas:

all i can imagine is all of them doing the grudge walk and assembling like a damn transformer at the end of a dark hallway in the middle of the night when i went to go get a glass of water

izzetheking:

How is sponge bob a sponge if everyone in his family are chocolate chip cookies

(via fake-mermaid)

cybersleepover:

seven days without a pun makes one weak

(Source: firefoxed, via minteverything)

death-by-lulz:

good advertisements here on the highway

Featured on a 1000Notes.com blog

0shawotting:

slurpuffs:

not all men

are as addicted to carpet as i am. i rub different textures of carpet all over my body. i smell the fresh new carpet smell and feel myself get excited. i work day and night to collect different types of carpet from wherever i am. i sleep with a carpet pillow i have made by hand. i wrap myself in a cocoon of carpet and feel myself merge into the fabric, becoming one…  

(Source: goojiras, via thefuuuucomics)

unsuccessfulmetalbenders:

EVERY SINGLE EASTER MY MOTHER HIDES A THREE POUND EASTER EGG IN THE HOUSE AND SETS MY BROTHERS AND I OFF TO GO FIND IT AND GUESS WHO GOT IT FOR THE FOURTH CONSECUTIVE YEAR IN A ROW

image

NOT THOSE LIL BITCHES

(via thefuuuucomics)

Oh bother

i-r-confused:

blenders-in-a-puppy:

phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess:

the-mischief-manager:

phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess:

cockringtoss:

ibeherpderpin:

highperactive:

cockringtoss:

my dick has a lot in common with the sun

nobody likes looking directly at it?

It gives people cancer?

woAh woah woah

It rises at the crack of dawn?

it disappears at night?

direct exposure often leads to a nasty case of sunburn?

it needs to stay approximately 92,960,000 miles away from me?

nobody will ever touch it? 

(via thefuuuucomics)

marinashutup:


my brother blocked me on twitter and i’m really upset because his tweets are pure gold

maleteen:

chinese food is more important than 95% of the things in my life

(via dutchster)

lifeisuselesswithoutpizza:

caiamity:

what did you think would happen

For real

tt2383:

v0tum:

You’re over someone when you stop looking at their social media accounts.

So acccccccurate

(via carlwithak)

thefatgirlblog:

"All these young girls getting themselves pregnant"

Wow, self impregnating teenage girls, these men should be afraid, we as woman are evolving at alarming rates.

(via colaciones)